how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
