No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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