wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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