i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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