then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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