So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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