tell your sister to shave her snatch
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
