Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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