Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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