Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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