SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize