Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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