love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
