he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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