Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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