STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
