I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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