I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
