This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
