Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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