I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
