You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
