i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
