If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
