its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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