do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
