Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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