normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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