He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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