I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
