well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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