Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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