You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
