I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
