when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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