Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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