if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
