8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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