Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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