I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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