im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
