You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
