Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
