It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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