I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
