didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
