I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
