you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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