I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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