it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
