Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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