I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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