Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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