the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
