Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
