Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
