either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
