Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
