You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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