they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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