belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
