I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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